Pete's Interview show!
by XxXStrawberry FieldsXxX
Summary: UPDATED! AGAIN. The story now has a weapon store that will be updated every chapter. Read for more info. Rated K-M. K MARTZ! LOLZ! Oh and your in control in this story. Kung Fu Panda joined the story!
1. RULES AND JOBS

** Hello!!! My name is Pete!!! Im a interviewer/reporter/weather person/ **

**director/author/geek squad/assassin/slash/homestar runner/wedding guy/i lied about the last part-guy/shy guy/i lied again/not a pimp/lazy/match maker/cake maker/bomb guy/not a kid's person/Angry/I look like Sora guy/man man/moo/spy. So in this fan fiction you ask me to do what ever i just mentioned to do on any kingdom hearts or Nintendo character. WARNING: Might have cursing, violence, and what ever you want it to have. I prefer if you use the format like so on the bottom.**

** Character-**

** Job-**

** Ratings-**

** Will Pete live-**

** Thanks, I hope to have this fan fiction do better then my other ones!**

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ion Spirit*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ **


	2. First Day SORA

Story written in 3 rd person. Information:

Character: Sora

Job: Assassin

Rating: M

Pete: He'll live... somehow.

Hope to see this soon.

In future stories i would like to add below (Pete:) a (Pay:). But right now Pete does not get any pay. Well enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ion Spirit*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**It was a bright, sunny day when Pete emerged from his house...err...shack...no no...a house. He had his coffee in one hand and his other hand was holding a piece of paper. 'Rhat the Hell?'. (This is not a type error, he talks weird) He thought. He opened this blow fuck up and began to read it...sadly this pitiful fuck did not know how to read. So he walked over to his neighbor's house, Sonic The Hedgehog. He rang to door bell twice until Sonic answered the door. "Hello Shonic, can you read this?" Pete asked with a smile. Sonic took the letter and began to read. Once he was done he summed it down for him.**

** "Well Pete, looks like you have to kill Sora, but don't worry, you won't die." Pete let out a sigh. "BUT..." Sonic interrupted Pete's thought, "It never said you won't get hurt, and you don't get paid, it will be as gruesome as Rated M. And the person who want's to see you do this is klonoakazeno." Sonic looked up at Pete who seemed to be okay with this. "Well....tell me how it goes...bye." Sonic then closed the door. (Yes Sonic is the only one in this Fan Fiction that is not a dick or a dumb ass). Pete then went to his house. He knew, which is a major shock, why he was has the job. He joined Crazy go nuts University. So he went to his house and put on his assassin suit, which was just his normal suit...just with a hood. He grabbed his exploding balls and his a pocket knife... he was a lvl 1 assassin. Once that was over he sat on his desk to type a note to Sora, bait. **

_**Dear Sora,**_

_** Riku and I are going to explore a old cave near Traverse Town...or whatever it's called. I want you to bring Donald and Goofy, so we can have tons of fun! I also want you to bring me some Twinkies, Ding-Dongs, Zings, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, some boxes of Pizza, also a steak with extra sauce, and chips, and all of your fat foods! Im...uh...on my PMS now...So see you at 12:00 PM.**_

_** Love you!**_

_** Kairi. **_

__**Sora then kept the paper in his pocket and called Donald and Goofy on his cell phone. **_**Ring Ring Ring..**_**. "Hello?" Sora asked. **

** "Ri there Shora!" (Yes Donald talks weird too). Donald greeted.**

** "Hey your gay right?" Sora asked. Donald was disgusted with this (Not that being gay is wrong, im not gay but I don't care what you are. Just trying not to offend anyone.).**

** "Uhh rnoo--" Donald was cut off by Sora.**

** "Well then homo, I want you to call your lover Goofy. Meet me at the cave." **_**Hang Up. **_**Donald took a moment's pause. **

** "Rou Ruther Fucker!!!"**

* * *

** Pete was on the ceiling waiting for Sora to arrive. **

* * *

** When the three friends arrived at the cave they notice something. "Hey, that bitch and bastard lied to us!" Sora then grabbed his keyblade (oathkeeper) and grabbed the blade and swung the butt of it at Goofy head. Goofy then fell to the ground and did not wake up for the whole chapter. Donald was shaking, Sora then looked down at his fine feathered fuck. "Bitch want to end up like him? Or worse?" Donald piss him self. **

** "R-rell Shor-" Sora shot him with a M16 (those who don't know what that is, it is a gun that usually you see in the army.) Donald died...then came back to life at the end of the chapter, as does everyone who dies. Sora then walked to the sun art...but something smelled different.**

** "I smell..." He then looked up to the ceiling, "Diabetes!" He Grabbed out both The oathkeeper and oblivion. He threw the oathkeeper at Pete, Pete fell on the ground. His stomach was covered in blood he got up and threw a whole butch of exploding balls at Sora, but Sora used reflect and Pete was on the ground with his arm on fire. He spit a ton of spit until his arm was fucked up. He then grabbed his pocket knife and slashed Sora's arm, a little cut compared to his fucked situation right now. Sora stood there, got some blood with his fingers and licked it, then threw his keyblades on the ground and jumped on Pete where Pete's stomach was showing and Sora got on top and started to punch the living shit out of poor fucked Pete. This happened for 20 minutes until Sora's fist started to hurt, so he elbowed his face for another 30 minutes. His elbows started to get sore, so he got up and started to jump of Pete for 50 minutes after that Sora passed out. MISSION SUCCSEFUL. **

* * *

**3:56 AM/ Sonic's House.**

* * *

** The door bell rang. Sonic yawned and answered the door. "What is it? It's three in the-the! WHAT THE FUCK?!?" Sonic screamed when he saw Pete crawling on the floor his arm fucked up where his elbow bone was showing. The other arm cut up. His face looked like a elephant pack jumped his face. His body bleeding. Legs where broken. **

** "Ya shee Sonic...I did good." Pete then crawled to his own house to rest. Until his next job ****came.**

** THE END**


	3. THE ANDY PETE SHOW! Roxas

Information:

Character: Roxas

Job: interviewer

Rating: T

Pete: He'll live

Pay: 5 bucks an hour.

I looking forward to what you do with this idea.

klonoakazeno

**So Pete woke up for another day of his jobs. He sip some of his cheap ass coffee, then read the letter in his hand. "B" He read, then he turned it over and read a note. "B-flat." Then he threw the paper away and read a message from the JOB company inc. He then walked to his neighbor's house, Sonic, so he can sum it up. **_**Ring-Ring-Ring**_**. "Hello?" Sonic greeted with a smile, then look at the fat monstrosity in front of him. His ears went down. "Oh...it's you," he sighed. He looked at his hand and saw a message. He knew what he wanted. "Fine." He took it and read over it for a minute. "Well Pete, if you interview Roxas, you will get five dollars a hour. If you ask me this is not for yo-" He look up the only find a dust trail. 'Sigh. When will he grow a pair?' Thought Sonic.**

* * *

** "Welcome to Pete's interview show!" Greeted Pete, "Im a the roundest, fondest, Modesto, cat, PETE!!!" The crowd went wild! He sat down on the Andy Griffin Show stage. Roxas all of a sudden pop up and landed on the chair...naked. The only thing covering him were bubbles, like Mr. Gaga (Lady Gaga). "WHY HELLO ROXY!!!" Roxas shrieked like a five year old girl who thinks her parents are total bitches for not giving her Littlest Pet Shop limited edition f**ker-rama. **

** "Where the Hell am I?!" He looked around. He slowly turned to Pete. "Y-your n-not J-jigsaw...are you?..." Roxas shriveled. Pete let out a laugh and smacked Roxas across the back, almost killing him. Roxas got back up. "Okay, I see your just a dick. What do you want?" **

** "Oh just a interview." Pete answered. Roxas looked at his own body, then looked at Pete.**

** "Sure...but...cloths?" Pete then whistled and stage make up artist came and put Roxas in a pink bunny suit, exactly like the suit the Christmas Story. "Well...better then nothing. So what's up?"**

** "Well Roxas, is it true your gay?" Pete asked. Roxas blushed in anger.**

** "NO!" Roxas was mad. But he can see where they get the idea from, even quiet recently when he showed up naked. **

** "Alright so you are. Next question." Pete said. Roxas went into bitch mode.**

** "But I just said I wa-" Roxas was cut off again by the fat cat.**

** "Is it true you like her?" Roxas looked weirded out.**

** "Wha-" Roxas was cut of again.**

** "Xion?" Roxas blushed.**

** "Oh...I see. Well...no."**

** "Liar. Next is that are you emo and or fag?"**

** "Well..I don't see myself as a fag, nor emo."**

** "Well I do, next, do you have a thing for Walruses." Pete asked with a smile. "Don't lie."**

** "HELL NO!!!" Roxas screamed, in the background a Walrus cries and shot himself to death. "What the hell kind questions are these? What are you, a pedophile?"**

** "You wish. Next, do you enjoy having no friends?" **

** "I have...well...some friends..."**

** "Yeah, three, me,myself,and I. Next thing who would win in a fight, you or Chuck Norris?" **

** "Well...me of course."**

** "Okay then." Pete then clapped four times. "Come and see this guy Norris! He said he can kick your mom's and your asses!" Chuck then came out. Roxas's jaw dropped.**

** "Wait I meant-" Roxas was then round house to the face. Roxas tried to get up but tripped over his pink bunny slippers. Chuck then kick the ground and a rock came out of the Earth and floated around him as he rose 70 feet in the air and lifted Roxas with his awesomeness, he did a Great Aether (Super Smash Brothers Brawl 2007 [Wii]) with his punches,kicks,elbows, and his sheer coolness. Roxas was then sent sent flying to the floor with the mph at 10000000000 mph or kph. Soon Roxas crawled out and Chuck Norris flew away at amazing speed. "I...hate...you..."**

** "Your mom hates you. Last question, if you answer this, I'll kill myself." Roxas had hope yet.**

**A sphere 5.5 metres in diameter is filled with 1m diameter hemi-spheres.******

**a:****(1)**** What is the theoretical maximum amount of hemi-spheres that can be crammed into the big sphere given that the following condition is met:  
Each hemi-sphere's flat side (which I'll now refer to as its 'disc') has a central point (indicated by the white point shown in the hemisphere diagram to the right). The point must not 'see' another hemisphere's disc. By definition, when I say 'see', the simplest thing to imagine is a straight ultra-thin 'laser light' coming from the disc. This 'light' must not reach another disc. However, if there's another hemi-sphere that's 'blocking' the 'line of sight', then this is accepted.**

**(2)**** By cramming them as efficiently as possible, a relatively small volume will be left. How large is this volume?**

**b:**** Same question, except the torch now has a 52.72077938642 (that's 90/(1+(0.5^0.5))) 'degree of sight'. This 'cone' of light extends from the exact centre of the disc and is once again not allowed to 'see' any part of another ****disc****. What is the maximum amount of hemisphere's that can be crammed into the mega-sphere now?**

**c:**** Same question again, except the whole disc acts as a tubular beacon of light. This thick ray must not 'see' another hemisphere's disc. What is the maximum amount of hemisphere's that can be crammed into the mega-sphere now?**

* * *

** "Ugh...." Roxas cried. "This is unfair!"**

** "Wrong,it is*****************************************************" Roxas then was shot out of the studio. "Well see ya later folks!" The show then had credits and by this time you stopped watching the show.**

* * *

_**Ring-Ring.**_** "Hello?" Sonic asked and saw Pete holding Five dollars. Sonic was amazed. No cuts. **

** "Ya shee Sonic, ol' pal. I told you this was the right job for me." He then went moon walking to his house. **

** THE END (I DO BETTER IN RATED M STORIES)**

* * *

** NOTE: EVERY TIME PETE EARNS 50 Dollars, you will unlock a secret. Oh and the other characters can be who ever now. Cya!**


	4. STRIP AND SEARCH! Xion

INFORMATION

* * *

So now we can make Pete whatever we want? You shouldn`t have said that lol.  
Character: Xion

Job: Male stripper

Rating: M

Pay: 30 to 50 bucks

Pete: He`ll live, but some gay guy will rape him... so he`ll be scarred for life.

I have a sick mind, but I think Pete deserves it.

By the same person as last time.

* * *

**Pete,once again walkout of his house, with his robe on, while drinking some coffee. He looked at his other hand, he sighed. Then he felt a sudden rage. "HOW THE FUCK DO I KEEP GETTING THESE SHITY ASS,MOTHER FUCKING,SEAMEN DRINKING,FORESKIN PULLING,ASS LICKING, MONKEY BALL SUCKING,FIRE FUCKING,GAY ASS MOTHER SHITTING MOUTH EATER, COCK SUCKER DO I KEEP GETTING THESE ASS JOBS?!?!"**

**After saying one of the longest curses in his life, he went to Sonic. "Hello, Shonic. Can you read another one of these?" Sonic then grabbed the letter and read it, it took him a few moments of time, then he looked with a worried face.**

** "Hey..uh...Pete...It says you have to strip in front Xion and you will get 30-50 dollars an hour." Sonic then looked down, then looked up. "Ya know, Pete, you can just say no and just come inside, Im watching Across The Universe, I can make some Hot Chocolate and I can rewind the mov-" He look to see only a cloud of dust. "*Sigh* You didn't stay so I can tell you that your going to be raped by a gay guy...Oh well...maybe then he finally listen to me."**

* * *

** Xion was walking in the MoogleMia mall, looking for a gift for Roxas and Axel. She continued to walk down until she saw a man in a trench coat. She walked over, due to her curiosity. "Hello? Who are you?" Xion asked. The figure then grabbed her a knock her out.**

* * *

** When she woke up she saw she was tied to a chair and there was a crowd of people cheering for the person up front. All of a sudden the crowd grabbed her and threw her on the stage. 'A pole?' She thought then the room went black, there standing with black leather suit on, Pete! She was terrified. "Why are you doing this?!" She was answered back in Pete throwing a black boot at her. Kinky, right? WRONG! She cried in pain as it hit her in the face. Pete then took of his shirt and threw it at the crowd. The man who caught it looked happy, until a mob massacred him to death for the shirt. By the time they stopped the shirt was now in atoms. Pete ****then took off his pants and threw it in the air, where pigeons flew into them and exploded. Next pet "Rubbed" his "Pecks" on Xion, but turned out suffocating her with his man boobs. Next he got up and saw Xion scared. Next he turned off the lights. "1" screamed the crowed. "2" "3!!!!"**

**Pete was now naked as he ever been... Then all of a sudden a man got up. He was a rabbit. **

** "Now Pete, prepare to have your ass raped!!!" All of a sudden he took out a box and out came 50 rabbits. Pete can be nowhere found. Only a pile of rabbits. He screamed in pain as the rabbits fuck him. The crowd was wild. Xion at this point died. **

* * *

**1 hour later.**

* * *

** Sonic answered with Zelda behind him. "Hello?" Sonic asked, but then looked to the ground, only to see Pete crying naked and holding 30 dollars. He then open his mouth.**

** "F-fuck y-you B-b-b-bit-ch..." He then crawled to his house, to have his memory modified. **

**Zelda then looked at Sonic. **

** "Why are you even his friend? You can do **_**way**_** better then that." Zelda asked. Sonic then looked up at Zelda.**

** "Oh, he grows on ya." Zelda cock a eyebrow.**

** "Really?"Zelda asked with sarcasm. Sonic sighed and his ears went down while his head went down, as his eye looked down with disappointment in the truth.**

** "No he gets worse..." **

** "I know that, so want to go see The Beatles live?" Sonic looked up in confusion. **

** "But here dead."**

** "I know, but we go back in time and see the concert." **

** "Oh boy! I'll call my friends, Gordon Freeman, Ike, Altair, Master Chief, a-" Zelda look down at him.**

** "But I want only us to go."**

** "Oh...okay!" So Zelda opened a portal and they both disappeared.**

* * *

** Pete was holding himself in his own arms. He had been raped. RAPED. Rq3d!!! Then he slowly went to bed while hiring Namin'e to help his memories.**

** THE END **


	5. MOUSE MD Riku

PETE=EPIC PORPOTIONS!!! MONEY = $35

* * *

**So Pete, ever since the rabbit Fucking fucker raped him by sending...what...oh yeah...Namin'e and all...who's a rabbit? Anyways he now carries a toothpick. -$5. ($30). Now the story has a weapon shop. Now PM me or put underneath (pay:) put (buy) I will update the money storage as seen on top. Enjoy! The weapons will be listed in the next chapter only. It will be labeled "STORE". Well back to the story. Pete now carries a tooth pick. He had the message in one hand, the other in the hand, a cup of Hot Jones (coffee). He then gulped his coffee and threw it to the ground. "IM'A TIRED OF THIS SHITTY ASS FUCK!!!! I WON'T DO IT!!!" Screamed Pete. All of a sudden, a portal made of nothing but total awesomeness opened up and out came...dun dun.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! ! ! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i!i!i!i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**CHUCK NORRIS!!! He jumped out and did a snap kick to Pete's arms and they flew off landing in...another galaxy...next he drop kicked Pete in the face. Pete's head flew off as blood flew everywhere. Finally Norris jumped and did a dramatic kick and Pete's body exploded. Pete has died. Then Chuck Norris then jumped and a dragon came out of the sky and lifted Chuck by his arms and flew away. But then I made Pete come get his fat asshole out of the fucking atoms spread all over, and...WOMBO!!! He's alive. "Okay I will." **

** "Hello? Sonic?" Pete then heard singing so he got his tooth pick and opened the door. He looked around until he found the source, the bathroom. So the fat fuck busted open the door to see Sonic taking a shower singing Poker Face. **

** "You can't see through my po-po-poker face, Russian ru-" Sonic then stopped and turn to see the fat ass mother fucker staring with his black eyes. Sonic screamed. "WHAT THE FUCK?!? GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE BITCH!!!!!" Sonic then saw the note and read it. He then looked up. "Be a mother fucking Physical Doctor and help Riku, pay is 50 bucks, okay? NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU COCK SWIPE!!!!" So Pete walked out and began to go to Riku's house.**

* * *

** "So, wait...you are going to give me a physical?" Riku asked. Pete nodded.**

** "Well yes shure e." Pete nodded. Riku then made his hand into a fist.**

** "FUCK YOU, MOTHER FUCKING BLAST DRINKING SEMAN GULPER BITCH!!! HELL NOEZ WILL I ALLOW YOU TO FUCKING PUT YOUR DIRTY ASS FINGER UP MY ASSHOLE!!!" Screamed Riku.**

** "But, if you get hit with a rusty item, you will die." Riku then looked down and gulped.**

** "F-fine..."**

* * *

** "Okay first take off your cloths." Commanded Pete. First, Riku was about to object, but then mumbled as he put on the robe. He notice a boner coming out of Pete's pants. He then got The Way To The Dawn and threw it at his shiner. Pete then recoiled in pain. "you....pass...oh god..." **

* * *

** STEP #1 COMPLETE**

* * *

** "Alright Riku, I want you to let me see your groin area to make sure your not in a disease...thing." Riku was familiar with this, so he showed Pete his hairs. Pete then got his two front fingers and made him cough. Once he was done, he sneezed on his dick by accident. Riku then got a magnum and shot his ass down.**

* * *

** STEP #2 COMPLETE**

* * *

** "Now bend over Riku." Riku gulped as he bent over. Pete stuck his two fingers up the ass. Riku then cough...a little to hard. Pete accidentally hit the rectum and out came blood. Riku then grabbed Pete's arm and ripped it off and shoved it up Pete's asshole.**

* * *

** STEP #3 COMPLETE**

* * *

** "Alright Riku, then last thing I need you to do is-" Pete was then cut off by Riku's ranting.**

** "Look you ass fuck," screamed Riku, "If you don't fucking get this done soon, I'll actually kill you the next time!" **

** "Me? Im not giving you the 8 shots. Riku sighed in relief. "Larxene and Zexion are." Riku then gulped in fear. Larxene walked in the room with a medical outfit on will Zexion acting as her nurse. **

** "Alright you little bitchy ass fuck, I'll get one thing straight. SIT THE FUCK DOWN BEFORE I FUCKING BREAK YOUR FUCKING LEGS!!!" Larxene commanded. Riku then sat right back down. "Zexion, give me all of the shots so we can get fucking paid." Zexion the handed all of the shots to her. She used them as her daggers, and stabbed Riku in his arm with the medicine. Riku screamed in pain as he fell overconscientious. "Pussy."**

* * *

** MISSION COMPLETE!!! LOLZ!!!!**

* * *

** "Hello?" Sonic looked at Pete. Nothing this time. "Wow, what a shock." Pete then held 50 ****dollars up in victory.**

** "Behold! I have more money ($80) And now I must let out secret number one. XxXStrawberry FieldsXxX will make a new story about Winnie the Pooh called, "Pooh VS Da World!!!" This future story will be about Winnie fighting who ever. Rated M of course, the only way to advance the story is to set matches up for Pooh. For example, Pooh vs Xemnas. Then Strawberry will create how that will work. Oh and you must set the stage. Like for example, Stage: Twilight Town. The only way for him to create the story is that I must get at least 30 comments about the story. So there the secret #1. The weapon store will be open next chapter."**

**Sonic just look at him and closed the door. Pete then felt the urge to go Pedophilia on the towns children...Then he was arrested and then his sexuality of children was erased.**

** THE END OF THE CHAPTER **


	6. SHOP

**Welcome to The weapon store! The chapter will be replaced every time a new chapter goes up. The balance will change here and there. Depends on what Pete buys. Oh, and the tooth pick broke, so sorry.**

** Cash=$140**

** Credits=30**

** Item-?**

** Tooth Pick- $1**

** Cheap Plastic Gumball Gun - $5**

** Cheap pocket knife- $10**

** Baseball Bat- $30**

** Fire Axe- $50**

** Crowbar- $70**

** Sword- $100**

** Pistol- $150**

** Uzi- $200**

** Shotgun- $300**

** Katana- $500**

** Super Zombie Chainsaw- $750**

** Magnum- $1000**

** Lightsaber- $2000**

** RPG-7 -$5000**

** Tank-$10000**

** Atom Smasher Gun- $100000**

** Keyblade- $500000**

** *UPGRADES***

** Sharp Upgrade- $1000**

** Heat Upgrade- $10000**

** Magical Upgrade- $100000**

** Atomic Upgrade- $1000000**

** Mega Upgrade- $1 Billion**

** PETE UPGRADE- 10 Credits**

** Story Extender- 5 reviews (This allows you to chose if the story will be long, the 8 chapter will be free. So far only klonoakazeno has obtain 1 choice. He just got one for free) **

** *SUMMONS***

** Sora- 20 Credits**

** Riku- 40 Credits**

** Any Organization XIII Member- 70 Credits**

** Any other Disney, Square, and others- 100 Credits**

** Anyone who isn't From Kingdom Hearts- 200 Credits**

** *MINI STORIES***

** NOTE: These stories are for Pete to tell in the beginning of the chapter.**

** Mini Story- 500 Credits**

** *CUSTOM STORY***

** NOTE: I will make a story about Kingdom Hearts in anyway you want, all I need is the plot.**

** Custom Story- 1000 Credits **

** *Personal Stories***

** NOTE: These stories are about whatever you want. **

** Personal Story- 2000 Credits.**

* * *

** Enable to get Credits, you must make a story of Kingdom Hearts and PM me about it and tell me the name of it or the address. Depending on the stories greatness, depends on how many points I will give out. **

** HINT: To get extra points follow these.**

** Favorite Character: Zexion, Pete, Sora, Roxas**

** Favorite Couple: Zexion X Larxene**

** GENRE: Humor, Romance, Parody, Adventure**

** NO gay stuff, and I like the main heroes to survive.**

** Also like mixes of different games.**

** Favorite Rating: T-M**

** Well I hope you earn cash and earn Credits!**


	7. The Confessions of MrFire RoxasXion

From someone who I knew before she changed her name like 8 times or more. xXxKixixXx.

Information:

Character-roxas and namine

Job-matchmaker

Ratings-t-m

Pay:1 penny lol

Will Pete live-no he'll die becuase he constantly interuppts them when they talk lol

**So Pete came out of the front yard with a cup of hot fuck, that's the name of the coffee he drinks. He gulped it down with one sip and read the job he has to do. Oh yeah, fat ass here can't read. So he went over to Sonic's house. "Hello?" He ask, "Shonic, are you there?" Sonic answered and sighed. Before Pete can ask him, he grabbed the message and read over it.**

** "Alright you will play matchmaker with Roxas and Xion," Sonic said, "Hmm...how romantic. You get one penny, what a load of fuck. It says you will die. Now go away." Pete then ran to Roxas's house. Roxas was playing Super Mario Bros 3 with Xion and Axel. **

** "Hey how did you get in here?" Roxas asked in shock. Pete just grabbed Axel and threw him to the floor. **

** "Hey what the fuck man? You want to end up like Vexen? All old and freakish. Oh wait, too late! LOL!!!" Axel insulted. Pete did not like this. He got his fist and took a blow to Axel's face, Axel then came back with a chop to the neck, Pete fell over in pain. Axel then got a Chakram and threw it at Pete's throat, Pete missed it and did a fat spin kick. Axel duck and did a upward thrust with his leg to Pete's balls. Pete fell to the ground throwing up blood. Xion and Roxas just watched. Pete got up and did a headbutt to Axel, but Axel then pulled a Chakram and protect himself. Pete was now close to dying. Pete then shitted his pants when Axel lit Pete on fire. Pete ran for cover, but then he fell to the floor, dead. Axel then looked at his opponent and laughed. "What fag, eh Xion and Roxas?" **

** "HAHAHA!!!Your so right Axel!" Laughed Roxas. Xion started to giggle herself.**

** "Yeah what a fat ass!" They all laughed as they all got up and started to kick the burnt corpse. Soon after, Roxas notice something, he enjoyed this. He then closed his eyes and kissed Xion. At first she was shocked, then relax as she kissed back. Axel didn't notice. He was to busy looting the body and running away. Fortunately, Pete kept all of his shit and money at home. So no money was lost. Xion then fell back to the couch as Roxas still holding began to kiss harder.**

** (DUE TO THE RATINNG, NO LEMON WILL BE SHOWN. NOR DO I CARE FOR THEM)**

* * *

** Sonic was sleeping, when he notice something. 'Where the fuck is Pete?' He wondered. Then fell back to sleep. He forgot he was supposed to die. He then sleep in peace with his friend, Zelda...yeah right, another rating issue, he sleep with Mr. Flang, his stuffed teddy bear. **

** THE END**


	8. EPIC ADVENTURE Malficent

INFORMATION: Also this one is the first actual full telling story instead of detailed as I normally do for this fan fiction. Actually I will pick the summon for free. It's someone.

Character: Maleficent

Job: Prostitute

Pay: 50 since she wants to go all the way.

buys: male enhancer

pete: He`ll live, since she`ll fall asleep after it`s over.

rating: M make it as muture as possible, enough that I can actually see it.

Don`t judge me.

**Pete walked out of house with no coffee, but a pack of man pills (-$20) ($60 left). He ate them up will walking to Sonic's house. "Hello? Shonic?" Greeted Pete. Sonic then opened the door as he said hello. "I have another one of these." Pete handed the note to Sonic as he began to read it. Once he was done he handed the note back as he was laughing.**

** "Well you have to be a..a....BITCH!!!LOL!!!!A MAN BITCH!!!!" Sonic yelled in laughter. Pete got butt hurt. "You get to have $50 dollars and bang Maleficent...too bad she is lesbian. Oh well, now 'Blow' European Slut!!!" Sonic fell to the floor as Pete just stared at him with the stink eye. All of a sudden, karma struck. A woman in a high tech jump suit and a paralyzing gun came and shot Sonic. "P-P-PE-PE-PET-PETE!!! H-H-HELL-PA-MEEEEE!!!!" Sonic screamed. **

** "Oh, me?" Pete answered with anger, "Oh, Im sorry, I am a dirty shlut bag...Oh wait, from Euterpe." Pete walked away. Sonic turned around to see Samus in her Zero Suit. **

** "What do you want?" Sonic asked, he could not run away because she shot his feet with a super blast. **

** "Oh you'll like it...or not...I don't care, I will." She answered. RAPE!!! Sonic tried to scream for help, but she closed the door. And lock it.**

* * *

** Pete then realized something...she is dead. So he need to make a list of what to do.**

* * *

** WHAT TO DO:**

** Find a person who can bring the dead back to life**

** Find Maleficent's grave**

** Bring her back to life**

** Then bang**

* * *

** He went to go see one person who could...Poe, AKA, KUNG FU PANDA!!! So he need to hi jack a plane. He was currently 10 miles away from the airport, and he lives in Twilight Town. So he went to the usual place to maybe find a couple of supplies, because SOMEPEOPLE won't buy Pete some weapons. So he looked for fast transportation. So he found a skateboard and got on, ready to ride. He then pushed his left foot as his right one was on the board. But unfortunately, due to his own lack of balance, fell face first. He then got up. He cried as he ran to the sandlot. He was still sniffling when he heard three people behind him. Laughing. At him. "Yo Seifer look at the fat ass over there, yeah know?" Said Rai. Seifer did not seem amused though.**

** "Yo, bitch?" Seifer said to Pete, Pete look at him. "We don't accept the fat and the shitty. Well, I still don't know how the fuck Pence is still here. But anyways, best be going out of our turf." **

** "Hey fuck face, I live here and I need to go to somewhere else, okay? And besides, it's not like I enjoy being here in the asshole's turf." Pete come backed. **

** "Hey fat ass, Seifer is going to kick your ass unless you take that back bitch." Fuu told off Pete. Seifer then pulled his dick shaped weapon out, something is not even that good at killing. But then he got a red one, the red bat. Pete knows what he want, the Struggle of Death. A match that is a fight to the death. He then watch as the red bat went from foam to metal with four sharp ends. **

** "Prepare to get fucked up bitch." Seifer insulted.**

** "But whoa! It's just a fight we had! No need for death!" Pete cried out.**

** "You never insult Seifer on his birthday! Ya know?" Rai answered. "Here" Rai said while throwing three bats on the floor. One red with a shape as a sword. "That's the Flex blade, best offense, sucky ass defense, and medium magic." Pete then scrolled over to the other ones. The next one was a Green one with a blunt club shape, made of mythil and orchard, with a handle that you put your arm in with armor around it,so it protects most of your arm. "That's the Bottle Death, best defense, sucky ass mother fucking attack, and a good magic power." Pete then looked at the other one, a dark blue color blade with a star on the top, thin around and a short handle, actually the whole thing was shorter then the rest. "That's the Emporium, the best at magic attacks, good offense, and horrible fucking defense." Rai said then took a sigh. "Just hurry the fuck up, ya know? Seifer wants to hurry up and fuck your ass up, ya know?" Pete then grabbed the Flex Blade. "Alright then, fight!"(You may want to hear a metal song like Almost Easy by Avenged Sevenfold) Pete rushed in with sword up and a quick slash to Seifer's chest. Seifer fell back as he saw a slash in his chest. He gritted his teeth as he did a frontward spin while in the air to Pete's face. Pete managed to save himself as he block the attack. Seifer then fell to the floor and sprain his arm. He got up in pain as he stabbed Pete's arm. Pete cried in pain as he fell to the ground in blood. Pete then grabbed his sword and stabbed as hard as he can into Seifer's leg. Seifer coughed up blood as he fell straight to the floor. Pete moaned as he got up and dragged ****Seifer to one of the benches and slammed Seifer's face so hard against the seat that the bench broke and splintered in Seifer's face. Pete then grabbed Seifer one more time and threw him up as he held the Flex blade up. **_**SLTIH. **_**Seifer went through the blade as he slowly felt agony gripping at his body. Fuck, he was bleeding all over. He closed his eyes as the world started to blur. Seifer has died. "You killed him...YOU FUCKER DIE!!!!" Rai grabbed the Bottle Death as Fuu ran and grabbed the Emporium. Rai swung it at Pete, but Pete dodged as he healed himself, the only spell that is healing that is in the sword. His wounded started to heal. He then did kick Rai away as he saw a fire ball coming after him. Pete ran and threw Rai towards to fireball. Rai screamed as he was set a blaze. He fell to his knees as he was burnt alive, Rai was dead. Fuu cried and screamed like a mad woman.**

** "FUCK YOU!!!!" She screamed as she stabbed herself and she fell to the ground, dead. Pete got up and grabbed all three of there wallets, (+$30) ($90). He then walked to the usual spot where he can get the supplies. While he was walking there he saw three friends talking of a new flavor of ice cream, super salty ice cream. One of them mentioned that it was so salty, a kid died as a hole in his jugular began to open. Pete ignored this and snuck into the hang out. He went inside and look in the box where it said supplies at. He founded 10 potions, a pistol, a mini sword, and a magic scroll. He took all of them and head off to the airport. He first went to train station where he went on a train to the airport. Soon he has arrived at the sun station he notice something...different. He notice instead of mere twilight, he say nothing but dark clouds. Swirling clouds. So he then saw a bolt of lighting strike the ground. When the light cleared up, he saw Fuu. But she was in the shape of a heartless. She then turned into a demonic heartless with long arms with claws, her mouth opened so far it reached her solarplex (were your ribs split) she then had legs that were fast as a spiriting rabbit. She screamed and ran towards Pete. Pete grabbed the pistol and shot her three time. The heartless then fell to the ground in pain, then got back up and screamed again. It was close enough to slap Pete with her claws, Pete went flying so far, he almost fell of the station and into the downtown area. He then shot all of the bullets at it. Soon the heartless began to go hostile, it shot out it's tongue and wrapped it around Pete's leg. It started to drag Pete near and nearer her mouth. Pete reacted fast, he pulled out the mini sword and the magic scroll and fused them both. He then grabbed the magic sword and sliced the tongue of and threw the sword into the mouth. The heartless fell to the ground, screaming in pain as it started to disintegrate. All was left was the magical sword. Pete grabbed the sword and kept it for later. He entered and paid for a ticket to the airport (-$20) ($70) and entered trolley number one. He entered and he was alone, he closed his eyes and fell asleep on the bench. **

* * *

** When he was awaken he got up and walk to the airport. Since he could not afford a ticket, he was going to steal a airplane, or the gummi ship. So he snuck into a gummi when nobody was looking and flew off. He put it on maximum overdrive. In three seconds he was at the only Asian invasion place in the galaxy, The Land Of The Dragon. Once he landed there, there were eight guards waiting for him. So he got off to see what was the fucking matter."What seems to be the be the fucking matter, bitches?" Pete asked. All the guards gasped in remark. Pete did not understand why they were mumbling among themselves. Finally, two people came out, one that look like a leader, the other some hentai bitch. **

** "You dare bring shame to this lands? You must suffer for this!" Said Mulan. Pete then grabbed his sword out but was shot with a arrow. Pete then went to floor, then saw a fat figure, then everything went black.**

* * *

** "Hey,dude...you awake yet bro?" Pete opened his eyes slowly, he looked around to find that all of the guards were dead and so were Mr. and Mrs. Bitch. Pete went answer when he saw Poe, the master of Fat ass Fu. **

** "Is that really you? Poe?" Pete asked slowly. **

** "Uh yeah bud, why? Who are you?" Poe asked. Pete then explained his story about how he needs to bring Maleficent back to life, leaving out the part were he fucks her. "Who, so in able to save your world, you need her to come back and help the world? Alright I'll help ya." So Pete then went back with Poe in the gummi ship to leave. **

** "So do you know how to bring her back to life?" Pete asked while siting down. **

** "Well duh! Of course that weird guy in Halloween Town. He brought Hitler back to life. Then killed him. So let's go!" Pete then did a hyper jump to the destination. Once they landed they got out and went to the lab. They arrived there to see the Doctor creating a formula. "What sup doc?" **

** "What do you kids want!? I am very busy!" Screamed the Doctor.**

** "Hey, me and my friend want you to bring a woman back to life. So can you?" Asked Pete. The Doctor stood still and thought. **

** "Sure, but first give me the remains and a heart." Explained the Doctor. So Pete and Poe went back to the town central were they went to the graveyard. **

** "Dude, this place is fucked up all over." Poe mumbled as he saw dead people all over. Pete ran towards Maleficent's grave as he took the ashes and ran back to the lab. While they were on their way, Poe stopped and pulled out the Fish man's heart. They both arrived without a moment to pass. "We got...the.................................................................heart and ashes........." Poe then fell back exhausted. Pete gave them to the Doctor. He immediately threw them in a pot and boiled it. Soon Maleficent came out. Pete was about to fuck her but then, DUN DUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She had a spontaneous combustion. She then never existed. **

** "OH FUCK MAN!!! YOUR WORLD IS IN DEEP SHIT!!!" Poe screamed. But then Pete told the truth and Poe nodded. "You fucking liar, but still, it was for a reason...I think." They then went out of the lab and saw 30 zombies walking in the central town square. Pete then pulled out his magical sword as Poe pulled out the Blade Of Heroes. Pete rushed up to one a slashed of it's head. (Once again listen to hard core music). Poe grabbed the Blade Of Heroes and threw it and thus killing 10 zombies. Pete grabbed his sword and slashed off three zombie heads. Poe grabbed the Blade and did a circular spin and killed 6 zombies. Then Pete and Poe went back to back and did a spin while holing up their weapons and killed all the rest of the zombies. Then the demon came out of the ground holding a microphone...LADY GAGA. "Wait, you did this? But why?" Poe asked. Lady Gaga just laughed. **

** "All of the people know that am a man and a woman, so I summon these zombies to kill everyone here!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lady Gaga laughed evilly.**

** "Wait aren't half these people are undead?" Pete stated. Lady Gaga just look to the floor.**

** "Oh Fuck you!" She the jump on a platform and she started to sing. Just then she summoned 40 swords flying all around the central town, the exits were blocked. "JUST DANCE, BITCHES!!! IT'S NOT GOING TO BE OKAY!!!!" She screamed in humor.**

** "Dude, you really are a fucked up chick, or dude, or whatever!" Poe screamed as he dodged the blade. Pete then shot out a fireball towards Lady Gaga, she fell to the floor and got back up. She started to sing Poker Face, all of a sudden cards flew everywhere, why? Cause she also summon Luxord, so it's Poker Face FT Luxord. Pete tried to jump, but was hit in the gut with a card. All of his air was fucked out of him. Poe started to jump on each card, once he was on top he threw the Blade Of Heroes at Luxord. SLITH. **

** "Why the hell am I here?" Luxord asked as he fell into the fountain with corrosive acid. He died. Lady Gaga then sang her last song, The Fame Monster. She started to sing while she turned into a demon that look like Fuu's heartless, but only more annoying as hell. **

** "Get ready to die! BITCH AND FAT ASS MOTHER COCK SUCKERS!!!!" She screamed as she lunged toward Poe, he was tackled and sent flying towards to lab, and fell on the ground. Pete tried to shot a fireball, but The Fame Monster ate it and was fucking pissed. So Pete ran toward it a slashed it's middle. The Monster fell to the ground, then got up while kicking Pete, and he was sent to the ground. The Monster grabbed Pete and put it over her mouth, Pete was going to be shitted out later. But the, Poe ran towards her and sliced her arms off, she screamed in pain as she headbutt Pete away. Poe ran for a seconded attack, but has electrocuted as The Fame Monster had heat ray eyes. She laughed in pleasure. Pete got up and slashed her legs off. The Fame Monster was now a head and body, Poe then did a legendary move to finish her off, the SIT OF DOOM!!!! Poe did a super jump, then a butt smash to her face, **

** "Skidush." Poe said as he felt skull underneath his ass. Once they got up, they saw a massacre of blood everywhere, then they got on the ship and left. New destination was Twilight Town. So on the ship Poe asked Pete if he can live with him,due to The Land Of The Dragons was now becoming Communist. So Pete agreed and so they went home and collected 50 dollars. SHOP UPDATED.**

** POE JOINED THE STORY**

** THE END **


End file.
